The cost of redemption
by AJ Morrelli
Summary: Comforting Anders leads to the two further affirming their feelings for one another. Sequel to the AU piece "Price of another's sin."
1. Chapter 1

((Firstly, still owning nothing Dragon Age related, with the exception of Zaph's name and personality, though I think she's only passing mentioned in this one. A sequel to "Price of another's sin," someone requested my taking Nate and Anders' relationship a little further and thus, I obliged. Didn't want one huge story, so I divided it up. It's kind of...SFW and NSFW chapters *laughs* Enjoy!))

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"What if she's right?"

The words barely passed his lips. He didn't want to believe them, but somehow they managed to form in his mind anyway. And now he'd given voice to them. It might not have been so bad if he'd simply been thinking out loud, but Nathaniel was sitting beside him. The rogue had followed him after Anders had fled the dining hall and nothing short of blasting him with magic would have gotten him to leave him alone.

"She has no idea what it means to be a slave."

Anders gasped. "But, the elves-"

"She's Dalish," Nate interrupted. "They may not have a home, they may be antagonized by humans, but she's too willful. She's never _been_ a slave. Never been through what you told me you've endured. No one _deserves_ to be a slave, Anders." Nate's fingers combed lightly through his hair, much as his own were stroking through the fur of the kitten in his lap.

He swallowed. "And yet, the conditions in the Tower persist. We don't do anything to change it." He chuckled. "Uldred tried, and that's what started it all."

Fingers seized his chin, jerking it to the side, forcing him to meet a pained gaze. Nathaniel's eyes looked almost silver from the liquid quality of his unshed tears. "I refuse to believe that you, that _anyone_, should be made to go through what I put an end to when I killed Rylock."

Anders flinched at those words. A sick feeling coiled in his stomach as he thought back to when the lady templar had gotten hold of him again. She'd made _very_ good on her promise to pay him back for what she and the others perceived as his role in the death of their fellows.

"What of the others you haven't saved yet, then?"

"For now, I'm leaving that to the Commander's skill at diplomacy." He blinked and the shine disappeared, replaced by determination. "I've already got my hands full with one that still needs convinced." The hand on his chin shifted, coming now to cup his cheek instead. "No matter what I seem to tell him."

"Can you blame me, Nathaniel?" Anders' eyes turned down for a moment, blinking back up to look the other man in the eyes again. He let out a wry chuckle. "You make it easy for me to willingly serve you."

"You don't have to _serve_ me, Anders. I don't want a slave. Never did. If it wasn't obvious the first night Zaphyre threw us together, I'm not sure how much more blatant I could have been."

"You actually seemed amused at the notion, if I recall correctly." One blonde brow arched.

"I wasn't amused. I was trying to understand it. I still don't." He shook his head. "You'd truly have done anything I would have asked you to?"

Hesitating a moment, Anders slowly nodded his head. "Yes."

"Slept on the floor?" A nod. "Stood holding my armor all night?" Another nod, followed by a swallow. "And if I'd wanted more than just ordering you into bed?"

"It...It would have been within your right to ask for it." His gaze lowered to a spot in the rogue's chest.

"No, it wouldn't have. No one has the right to...lay claim to your body unless _you_ allow it, Anders. That's something I hope that I've made clear. Anything we do, I want it to be what _you_ want."

A little grin played at the corner of his mouth. "You don't think I haven't wanted all I've given you so far?"

"You never let me give back."

He shook his head. "You don't have to. It's not something you want. I can tell."

"How can you think that? Especially after what I just said?"

"I told you, I can tell." Anders reached up, brushing a bit of hair back behind Nate's ear. "I'm content to give. It's what I want. Making you happy is what makes me happy."

Nate drew him closer, allowing him to lean into his embrace. Light scratches began combing through his hair again, the sensation of them seeming to slide all the way down through him, always able to relax him. He could feel the deep breath and the slow exhale.

"I'm afraid."

His hand slid around the other man's waist, hugging him as best as he was able. "I know. Which is why I don't ask you for anything."

"No. No, I'm afraid of...of hurting you. Of doing something wrong. I'm not afraid of being with you. I gave up on that a long time ago." He laughed gently.

A hand at his cheek again and slow, lazy kisses began warming somewhere in his chest. Drawing back just long enough to deposit a protesting Pounce onto the floor, he smiled crookedly at Nate, leaning back further, to have him follow him into lying stretched out together on their bed. The kisses that he'd met were slowly turning into nibbles as lips made their way from his mouth to his jaw, moving down to his neck and then up close to his ear.

"I want to learn what it is that _you_ like, Anders," murmured that quiet rasp. "What makes you happiest."

The laugh that he let out was gentle, but he still felt a slight flinch. "I suppose saying 'This' isn't going to satisfy you, is it?" He trailed a finger along Nate's hairline, letting it curl along the shell of his ear.

"Not this time." He turned his head to lay a kiss in the center of Anders' palm.

Anders found himself biting his bottom lip at the gesture. Little things like that were all that it took to set his heart fluttering. Tenderness. Someone gentle. That had been something that had been sorely lacking in his life and Nathaniel...Nathaniel filled that void as if that were his Maker-given purpose.

"Well, if you don't want to hurt me, we'll need something. Oil. Grease." He shuddered at the memory of when even the slightest bit of spit had been welcome. "Something that will make it easier. For both of us."

He could feel the other man nibbling on his lip in thought. "Ah." He drew back, laying a kiss or two on his lips before he pushed himself off the bed. "I think I know what we can use."

Going over to his pack, he dug around until he came out with one of the vials of balm that they used to protect themselves. He could smell it when Nate opened it, testing to see how liquid it was over his fingers. "Will this do?"

"It should be fine."

Nathaniel joined him on the bed again, setting the vial near the pillows for the time being. He'd shifted, sitting with his knees drawn up, arms wrapped around them, just watching the other man. When he felt a hand skim along his calf, he twitched a little, eyes flicking up to Nate.

"You're looking about as nervous as I feel," he said with a soft chuckle. His expression softened. "Anders, you'd tell me if you didn't want to do this, wouldn't you?"

He bowed his head, nodding slowly. "And I know you'd stop if I'd ask." Picking his gaze up, he managed a little smile. "I suppose...I'm just a little afraid myself. But not of you. Never of you." He reached out, taking hold of Nate's hand and tugging him a little closer. "I've just never...this is..."

Nathaniel moved so he could gather him into his arms again. "I know," he murmured softly, his hand rubbing gentle circles over his back. "I'm honored that you trust me, Anders."

At that, he pinched his eyes shut, not wanting to let his already brimming emotions spill over and worry Nate even more. Reaching up, he turned his face to his and began laying gentle kisses on his lips, slowly deepening them to encourage the roam of his hands again. Maker, it felt so _good_ to be touched like that instead of groped or struck.

Drawing back for breath, he watched out of the corner of his eye as the bottom of his robe dragged slowly up his legs to his knees. The brush of Nate's hand was relaxing and he took things slow. No tearing him out of his robes-_when they bothered with that at all_-or just pushing him into position. He thought he'd remember other hands on him, ones that weren't gentle, but the rogue's-_his_ rogue's, _his_ Nathaniel's-chased them all away.

A tug drew him out of his thoughts and he realized Nate had urged his robes closer to his waist. Planting his hands on the bed, he raised his body up, allowing them to be hiked up further. After that, Nate began picking at the ties that secured it shut, his attention more on Anders' face than the intricate little knots that held the garment together. He couldn't help but smile as he watched him, reaching out to begin to tug his shirt over his head.

"You're going to distract me, Mage." There was a faint chuckle in his voice.

"No, I..." Anders swallowed. "I just want us to...be even."

Another chuckle and his hands drew back, his body twisting just a little and the mage found himself tugging at more of the fabric, winding up with the garment in his hands. "Hmm, now it seems I'm a bit ahead." He returned to his previous task.

Instead of immediately casting the shirt away, Anders actually brought it close. It was still warm and bore a scent that was distinctly Nathaniel: leather from his armor, the herbs he mixed together for his poisons, the soap scented like wildflowers that Zaphyre had jokingly gifted him with on Satinalia, and something that couldn't be described. Something that was just simply _him_. It was the same scent he'd grown used to breathing in each evening before they fell asleep, tucked into the arms of the man he knew could be trusted to keep him safe.

The brush of fingertips against his chest drew him back from memory. Nate had slid his hands up his chest, rubbing at his shoulders before sliding his robes down to his elbows. Finally releasing the shirt to the floor, he slid his arms out of his robe and pushed that off of the bed as well. Staring at the pile of clothing for a moment, he turned back, finding himself thoroughly pinned under Nate's stare.

It seemed strange. He and Nathaniel shared their room, the bathing chamber, even their own tent in camp, but there was something about this moment that made him feel incredibly shy. It could be because he'd never really seen Nate look at him the way he was now. There was no denying the want in his eyes-he knew that all too well-but there was more to it than lust. He felt no need to shrink away when the other man moved closer, reaching out to lightly trace his fingers along the lines of his muscles. Something like that would have made him tense before, put him a step away from trying to run, but now, it relaxed him, had him leaning into the rogue's touch.

Nate moved even closer, allowing Anders to scoot into his arms, wrapping his own around the brunette's chest. It brought them close enough for him to hear Nathaniel's heartbeat, soft and steady. Letting out a sigh, he let his eyes close, resting there until he felt the dusting of lips against his skin.

Drawing back with a soft "Ah?" he realized the two of them were about eye to eye. Nate kissed his shoulder again, his hands gently urging him to lean back, following with a rather slow crawl that left him stretched out over top of the mage. Wrapping his arms around him didn't keep him still for long, the trail of his kisses moving from lips to throat, across his collar bone, and down his chest.

Feeling the warmth of Nate's mouth around his nipple, he gasped, his back arching slightly. His fingers slid through the other man's hair, giving him something to grip as the pleasant sensations began to grow. As Nate started to draw back, though, he quickly let go.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just-"

"Shhh." The word trailed down his stomach, following Nate's lips. "I just wanted to move, that's all."

"I still shouldn't have-"

Nate pushed himself up again, hands framing his shoulders. "Anders, when have I ever told you that you couldn't touch me?" He smiled down at him. "I just hope that I'm returning the favor well enough."

His hands wrapped around him once again. "Oh, Maker, you are. You are," he whispered as he drew him close. "I've never felt more content or...safer than I have with you." He swallowed back the knot that was starting to catch his throat. "You're the only one that's ever worried about what _I_ want."

A finger came up, brushing along his jaw. "Maker willing, and," a soft chuckle, "more importantly, if _you're _willing, I'll continue to be."

Drawing him closer, he let his arms wrap tighter around the other man. He didn't trust his voice, only letting him feel the nod that brushed between his neck and shoulder. He was certain Nathaniel would feel him trembling but he didn't care. It wasn't because he was scared, not this time. It was...Maker, if felt like his soul. It was too full and it left him shaking in the other's arms. And Nathaniel seemed to feel it, too, just holding him until he was calm again.

"I," his own voice sounded too quiet in his ears. He almost thought he hadn't spoke, but for the slight tilt of the rogue's head closer to his lips. "Nathaniel, I want-" His voice betrayed him again. Letting his hand brush down his partner's side, he pressed, urging him closer.

His response was a nod and a kiss laid against the mage's ear. "Let me finish undressing. Then you can help me, all right?"


	2. Chapter 2

Anders nodded at that, releasing him enough that Nate could ease back and twist around, sliding the rest of his clothes down his legs. Retrieving the vial of balm, Anders set it where it could be easily plucked up and used before starting to push himself up and twist around to kneel on the bed.

"No. Not like that." A hand at his hip gently made to guide him to his back again. "You're not an animal, Anders. I want to be able to look you in the eyes. I'm not ashamed to be with you."

Maker, there it was again. He sat there, just looking at the dark-haired man, feeling as though he'd split from his skin with how _worthy_ those words made him feel. A thumb reached up to brush his tears away and he turned his head, laying a kiss inside of Nate's palm. When he finally calmed, he stretched back again, keeping himself propped up just enough to watch what the other was doing.

He knew he needed the balm, undoing that and spreading it over his fingers with his thumb. As he reached to get more, Anders quietly stopped him.

"Just enough to make them slick. That's all you'll need for now. It doesn't bother you, does it?"

He shook his head. "Nothing that's going to distract me."

"All right." Anders shifted his hips, making it easier for Nathaniel to reach him. "You...You'll want to make sure I-I'm ready for you as well." A small part of him couldn't help but be amused at his partner's innocence in this. He was so used to someone that simply took what they wanted. Instead, Nathaniel was looking to him to tell him what it was _he_ wanted.

The balm had helped warm his fingers, that seeming to add to the tentative brush that he felt between his legs. Reaching down with his own hand, he did his best to guide him to where he needed to be touched. The feel of him just circling at his entrance made his breath shaky. It was so much a tease, intentional or not, that he was fighting to keep his hips still.

Soft groans escaped his lips, as much from the attention as watching Nathaniel's expression: curious, hesitant, and yet encouraged by the sounds he was coaxing. Reaching down again, he twined their fingers enough that he could guide him into pressing a little, raising his hips some to meet the gesture.

"Like this?" He couldn't help but suck in a breath as he felt the push of a fingertip inside of him, still circling, though Nate suddenly stopped at the groan he let out. "Anders?"

He gave his hand a squeeze. "It's okay. It's okay," he breathed out, biting his lower lip. "Mmm. Warm." He swallowed. "D-Deeper's o-okay."

"Only if you're sure." When he nodded, he felt Nate's free hand come to rest on his hip, fingers curling there lightly as he pressed further in. It was another sensation that should have frightened him, having been pinned down like that before, and yet being able to watch Nathaniel and know he wasn't forcing this on him took his fear away.

As he felt Nate's finger press further in, he drew in several breaths, rocking his hips enough to help ease the ache that came with it. Guiding their still-joined hands, he urged him to begin thrusting, letting him grow comfortable with the action before starting to answer it with motions of his own. Feeling him picking up the pace had Anders groaning, his breathing quickening as well.

Still, it wasn't enough. His body wanted more. _Truly_ wanted more, not the betrayed feeling of arousal some of the templars seemed to view as consent. He felt flushed, the heat of his skin burning all the way to his cheeks. And yet, it wasn't the sting of embarrassment. There was relief in this as well.

"More, Nate, please. Please." The breathy words came out in time with his hips rocking up further, the motion pressing the rogue's finger even deeper inside of him.

"More? How-?"

Anders held up two fingers, watching those grey eyes widen.

"That won't-"

He shook his head. "Not as long as you're careful."

As if he had any doubts about that. He took care to keep his moans quiet, not wanting to worry Nate into stopping. His hips moved in concert with the press of his hand, the other starting to brush his side and leg, the touch warm and soothing. Between the two of them, he was stating to feel comfortably filled, an easy build up of tension coiling in his stomach. What made it even better was that he could look up into Nathaniel's face and see the gentle desire in his eyes. That alone had him groaning with pleasure, though it was the next feeling that left him wide-eyed and gasping. A firm thrust had pushed Nathaniel's fingers deeper, causing the tips to brush well inside of him, reaching a spot that bucked his hips and pulled a surprised noise from his throat.

"Anders?" He could feel Nate was on the verge of withdrawing his hand.

"Nonono. Don't. Don't," he panted. "It's okay. That-Oh, _Maker_." He could feel himself tense and twitching.

There was actually a smile playing on Nathaniel's lips, it being blatantly obvious what he just done had felt _good_. Another press and he was trying to reach it again; trying and succeeding. Anders whimpered as he was teased, feeling the tension starting to build again. He fought to keep his hips still, but it was becoming too difficult. It was as if they were writhing of their own accord, all of his control lost to that one little spot inside of him.

His head was starting to feel light, a flush crawling all over his skin. Below his stomach, that knot was getting tighter, taunting him with how close he felt. His fingers twisted around the blankets, helping him resist the temptation of reaching for what he wanted. Pleasure was _given_, not taken.

Thank the Maker that Nathaniel had gotten good at reading him, and it was no different here in the bedroom. He felt a hand wrap around him, pulling along his length and making his lower body jerk. Encouraged by the sounds that caused, Nate started a slow, if erratic, stroke that had Anders biting his lip and moaning even more. The rogue also caught him further worrying the covers, letting out a soft laugh.

"Why not put those hands to good use?" he chuckled.

"You...want me to?"

Another laugh. "Aye. It'll be easier. And probably better for you."

Bringing a hand up, he twined fingers with him again, the two of them sharing the motion until Nate's hand slipped away to his hip again. Between the motions of the two of them, his vision was starting to spark, a low keen constant in his throat. His pleasure kept building until he found himself right on the edge, caught between the dual sensations that finally pushed him over.

Back arched and crying out Nathaniel's name, his entire body trembled with the release that washed over him. Panting as the tension bled from his muscles, he fought to blink his vision into focus. And what a sight: Nate crawling upward to lay light kisses against his parted lips. Breathless as he was, he returned them, reaching a hand up to slip his fingers into dark strands of hair.

"Maker, I had no idea you were so passionate." Nathaniel nuzzled his neck, giving him more time to catch his breath.

Anders nuzzled back. "Only because it was you. Only _for_ you."

Another chuckle. "I'm honored."

Feeling him settle close, Anders let out a soft, worried noise. "Don't. You'll-" He reached down between them, brushing at his stomach, though it was too late.

Nate glanced down and then back up to him. "Tch. Messy. What am I going to do with you?"

Anders barely caught the grin that tipped up the corners of the other man's mouth, being worried over his teasing. Swallowing, he took a breath before raising his eyes to meet Nathaniel's. "Whatever you...desire, I would imagine."

Warm lips pressed against his own, making him purr. When they parted to catch their breath, he felt a finger trail down his cheek.

"I want what we started. If I can make you feel that good with my hands, I only hope to make you feel better when we're together."

"I don't think you'll have anything to worry about there." Anders tipped his chin up and brought their lips together. Reluctantly parting, he brought his hands to Nathaniel's shoulders urging him back and to his knees. Following him up, Anders let his fingers brush down the planes of the rogue's chest, gasping quietly when he felt his hand caught up. A relieved sigh escaped his lips as they were brought up to a set of nibbling teeth and subject to gentle tugs from a pair of lips.

"You need to stop startling me," he murmured. "I'm always afraid you don't like what I'm doing."

"That won't ever happen. You don't have to worry about that."

"No?" He arched a brow, feeling a little bold. "Even if I tickled you?"

He found his expression mirrored on Nathaniel's face. "Somehow, I don't think you would."

"Hmm. You're right. What if I did this instead?" His free hand roamed downward, fingertips lightly trailing down Nate's length, making his breathing hitch.

"No. Definitely no worries there."

Letting out another thoughtful sound, Anders freed his other hand and reached for the vial that was still nearby. Undoing it, he let the contents slip out, coating his fingers and palm, which he started sliding up and down the firm shaft that twitched beneath his touch. Nathaniel's eyes slipped closed and a wanting groan passed his lips. Given the way he felt, he'd clearly been enjoying what he'd just been doing. Not wanting to tease too much, he merely made certain he was slick enough before starting to lean himself back once again.

Nate followed, actually, lowering himself down for another kiss. While doing so, he skimmed his hand down Anders' side to his thigh, sliding to the inside to urge his legs further apart. Easing back a little, he guided the two of them together, hesitating a moment as he just pressed against him. Turning his gaze up to try and reassure his partner, Anders realized why he'd paused.

Their eyes met for only a heartbeat, until his head tipped back, a groan escaping his throat. A similar sound echoed from the dark-haired man, whose eyes were pinched shut as he eased the two of them together.

Once he could feel Nathaniel fully inside of him, he carefully brought his legs up around him, both of them groaning at the slight change in position. Squeezing a little, he brought his lips close to Nate's ear, smiling as he waited for him to catch his breath after a sharp gasp.

"I'm yours, Nathaniel," he whispered, feeling the shiver that ran through the other man. Swallowing around the lump that had settled in his throat, he continued. "You are the first and only man I freely give myself to and I could not ask for a greater blessing to have come into my life than you."

He felt the press of lips against his shoulder, then against his cheek, and finally his lips. "I am _honored_ that you feel that way, Anders," was whispered back. "And I promise you, I will never do anything to break that trust."

A smile came to his lips at those words. "I know."

Another squeeze, this one more of a hug, and he groaned, feeling Nate finally start to move. The pace was slow at first, the motion being foreign to the other man. It lent an air of tenderness to their actions as well, a warmth filling him that was more than the flush from what they were doing.

Reaching up, he twined his arms around the rogue's neck, drawing him down into brief kisses, broken up by his gasps whenever he felt another thrust. There was no rush in the motions, just gentle rocking that let the tension between them build slowly. As Nate grew more confident, the pace did begin to pick up, his hand moving to skim down Anders' side, helping him to change the angle of his hips. That let his thrusts press deeper, becoming even more filling, which had the mage groaning into his shoulder and neck.

Anders' breathing caught as he felt a brush against that spot inside of him again. He managed to keep his hips still, but there was definitely a twitch in other parts of his body, his muscles starting to grow tense again.

"Oh, Maker," he breathed, hearing a gentle chuckle. The pace was picking up once again, brushing against him even quicker and making his back arch further. "Na...Nath...an...iel," he groaned. "Maker, don't stop. Don't stop." His breathing was growing just as shaky as his muscles, whimpers punctuating each one. His hold on him tightened, almost pulling the two of them even closer together.

His pleas became more frequent, more desperate as tension began building through his body again. He could hear Nathaniel panting, feel the tremble in the arms framing him. Sliding his hands down, he kept one wrapped around Nate's back, the other slipping around to rest, even for just a moment, over Nathaniel's heart. As he was drawing it away, he felt fingers wrap around his own, both of their hands going to the bed, joined together with a warm squeeze.

A choked cry pulled from Anders' throat, Nathaniel's name coming out along with it, his hold tightening as his head tipped back. His whole body shuddered, tension bleeding away from his muscles in a wave of bliss. As he relaxed back to the bed, he looked up and had to muffle the sob that threatened to come out with his gasp.

His own pleasure has brought Nate to the edge, he could see it in the tightness of his features. Eyes opening against the sensation, there was no missing the haze of pleasure in them, and yet, they still saw _him_. Not just a warm body to sate and urge, but _him. _A smile pulled at the brunette's lips for a heartbeat before his own release had him gasping almost in time with the bucking of his hips. Feeling the tremble in Nathaniel's muscles, Anders gently tugged him down, welcoming the warm weight on top of him.

One hand still twined in the rogue's, the other combed lazily through the other man's hair, fingertips teasing at the back of his neck. Nate groaned softly, nuzzling the mage's neck and laying kisses against his shoulder. After a few minutes, though, he drew back, pushing himself up.

"Nath-Nate?"

No reply until he felt his lips captured in a deep kiss that stole breath and warmed his chest to the core. When they parted, both of them were breathing heavily and wore smiles that wouldn't fade. Anders gently urged the two of them apart, tucking into Nathaniel's hold once they were settled again. He felt an arm curl around his back and lips brushing at the crown of his hair. Closing his eyes, he let out a content sigh, feeling a squeeze in response.

"I hope you never doubt your worth again, Mage," came mumbled out in a sleepy rumble. "You'd wear me out if you did it constantly."

He laughed softly. "It's enough you're with me, that you accept me." He laid a few kisses on the other's lips. "That's all that matters to me. I realize that now."

"Good. Make sure it stays that way." He could feel a smile against his lips. "And in return, I'll make sure to be here for you, always."

Smiling himself, Anders drew Nathaniel into a kiss that slowly grew heated, leaving the two of them breathless when they parted. Twined in each others arms, he nestled close once again, warm, safe, and he knew without saying, loved.


End file.
